Thursday, September 2

The Grand Unifying Theory of LOST

Thanks to our friends at blastr (Formerly SciFiWire) who tuned us in to this theory. A poster going by the name of "That John Locke" has written a theory that successfully answers most of the questions that left viewers perplexed even months after the show left the air.

Seriously, if you enjoyed the show, and whether you are satisfied with the ending or not, you will still enjoy reading the whole theory.

Here's what blastr has to say, taken wholesale from their recent posting:


Fan creates amazingly satisfying retconned theory of Lost

Many people were disappointed with the way Lost ended, and even those who liked the ending still had lots of unanswered questions after the finale. Well, prepare to get some answers, because a diligent fan who goes by the name of That John Locke just found a way to take all the theories about Lost floating around the Internet and turn them into one unifying explanation that actually seems to make more sense than the show itself did.

His work is Einsteinian in its profundity and also pretty freakin' long, although it's well worth reading if you have time. For those who don't have time, below we've tried to cut, splice and condense the theory into something that's manageable for casual readers. Be warned this summation is only a glimpse of its genius, and we still recommend you check out the full version.
Here you go:

1. The Island was in fact the MAIN CHARACTER of the show. Stop for a minute and consider this: What if the entire show was not told through the characters' perspective, but from the Island's? I believe that the light in the center of the Island... is TIME.

  • You see the light each instance that there is a TIME jump in Season Five.
  • Every man has a little bit of time (our lives) but we always want more, just like Jacob's mother said.
  • Jacob's mother goes on to say that the light is a physical manifestation of "Life, death, and rebirth." If this is true, then time fits the description almost perfectly.


  • If the light is time, then it means that it contains the past, present, and future. This means that the light in the center of the Island holds the memories of all of those ever to come to the Island.


2. So what's the flash sideways in Season Six? It is a dream world created by the Island from the characters' memories, where they are able to have all the things they couldn't in the real world.

  • Desmond is exposed the the blast in the hatch, but as we know, he is special, and this will not kill him. He is resistant. In fact, he wakes up naked in the jungle after the incident, his clothes even destroyed by the intense exposure. However, Desmond himself is able to resist the energy, and see what lies within. So what does lie within the energy in the hatch? Well, we know that the "energy" is time in a physical form, which means it has the history of the Island running through it. Those very important memories! This causes Desmond to be sent to the flash sideways dream world.
3. As we know, the light within the water holds the memories of all who had ever been on the Island. Unless someone is special like Desmond, when you make contact with it you are killed. But, a side effect also occurs. The person's mind merges with the memories, becoming a physical manifestation of the past. This is a Smoke Monster.

  • In Lost, when the frames are slowed down, you can actually see images and flashes of the characters' PASTS within the smoke.
  • The Smoke Monster makes the ticking and winding sounds of a grandfather clock resetting, signifying its existence as a moving living version of time.
  • The Smoke Monster is able to take the form of dead people. Since it is a physical manifestation of the PAST.
4. Another mystery is the Springs in the temple that healed Sayid, and Ben back in 1977.

  • An extensive network of ancient tunnels and chambers on at least two levels exists beneath the Temple which were first seen in "Dead is Dead".
    Through a system of mirrors, light is sent through the tunnels to the temple, where it emerges in the spring water. Once this happens, the light is (of course) refracted.
  • When a person is placed inside the water, the refracted light will make contact with them. I hope you remember what happens when this occurs! Just like the Island experiences time jumps, so do the people. When Dogan sticks his hand in the water to heal a cut, it emerges cut free. It is an earlier version of his hand that you see.
5. This part of the theory accounts for a lot of the events that occur in the very last episode of the show. It operates on the basis that if the Light in any of the pockets is held back, it exponentially slows the geological clock of the Island. Time is not being released as normal, thus the Island's time is slower.

  • In the last episode, we see Desmond descend into the cave. He goes into the pool, and is once more bombarded by harsh exposure to the light. However, he does not jump to the flash sideways at this point. And there is a reason for this. During the destruction of the hatch, and the exposure to the light in Widmore's reactor, Desmond is being blasted with the energy in its purest form. However, here, the light is refracting underneath the pool of water. Desmond is not fully exposed.
  • Desmond removes the stone plug from the hole. In a large burst, time rushes to catch up for all that was lost. In the scenes that follow, we see the Island begin to fall apart.
  • Throughout the previous seasons, we saw the other pockets be rendered inert. The hatch is destroyed, so that pocket is lost. All the energy pent up underneath the Orchid is lost in Season Five, as it is released in large bursts that cause the time flashes. This leaves the heart of the Island as the sole remaining energy pocket, and when it goes out, then the entire Island does.
  • The Smoke Monster predicts this. However, he makes a fatal flaw. Jack has become the new Protector of the Island before the pillar is removed. Jacob has given him all of the memories, and Jack knows that if they remove that pillar the Smoke Monster will be mortal again. Jack is able to kill the Smoke Monster in human form, then return the pillar to its spot, where it stops the release of time causing the Island to fall apart. Upon Jack's death, the only thing that remains of him and all the others that were on the Island is their memories stored there. 

600 Hanna-Barbera Cartoon Characters


Absolutely impossible to contain within a single frame, but a worthy work of art in itself. The full sized graphic (which will open in a new window when you click on the image above) is 10800 x 2199 pixels, and purports to include every H-B character in chronological order. Whether you were a kid in 1957 when H-B Enterprises was founded, or a fan of their golden age in the 60's and 70's, or even a geekchild of the 80's and 90's, there are sure to be some of your own favorite cartoon characters included in this chart. Kudos to Juan Pablo Bravo (Johnny Bravo? Really?) for creating the graphic.

I Think So Too

Learn English With Samuel L. Jackson

Sweet Lion

Genius Sprinkler

Cheap. Effective. Funny.

What He Said.

This is one for the ages.


35-year-old Sydneysider Kristian Anderson was recently diagnosed with cancer and is currently undergoing chemotherapy. Despite his illness, he wanted to express his gratitude for all the support he’s received from his wife Rachel, so he made her this special birthday video, complete with cameos by New Zealand Prime Minister John Key and actor Hugh Jackman.

Better get the plumber on the phone, because you’re about to break a water main.

[news.com.au]

Glee-ful


Chris Colfer, AKA Glee’s Kurt Hummel, photographed by Robert Trachtenberg for Rolling Stone’s “Best Characters and Most Memorable Scene-Stealers” photo series.


[jmg.]

What's Wrong With The World Today Part VI

This kid's parents are surely nominees for parent of the year, right?

Save Our Swarm

The world's first billboard composed of 10,000 bees.


Here's more:

Wednesday, September 1

Matchstick Minas Tirith


The piece is currently on display at the Iowa State Fair, and the full story is online at Kuriositas!

3 million matchsticks!

Cee Lo Green Doesn't Care if the Radio Plays His New Video

Video-gone-viral by Cee Lo Green. 

One way to market your upcoming album is to get the radio to play a single. If you're lucky, it might make it into heavy rotation and get embedded into the minds of millions. 

Today though, Cee Lo has decided to take another route entirely, by releasing a single that is guaranteed never to get played on the radio. Instead, he's banking on the internet to take it viral and get it embedded into the minds of millions and the blogs of thousands.
Like this one.

Looks like it's working, too.

What do you think? Is it clever marketing, or just another insult to our collective intelligence?

High Speed Photography

See lots more and learn about the artist in Lex Augusteijn's gallery. Click on any of the images to open them full-sized in a new window.






Another Sign of the Pending Apocalypse

Sorry, iPhone/iPad users, it's flash....

How theOatmeal Feels About Buying Apps

Unconventional Highs

Bird Flew


Priceless!

Monday, August 30

True Life Story


Go ahead...just try and find someone who doesn't agree with this one.

Artificial Arm from the 19th Century

Artificial right arm, Europe, 1850-1910


Click the thumbnail images to enlarge & view in new window

Made from steel and brass, this unusual prosthetic arm articulates in a number of ways. The elbow joint can be moved by releasing a spring, whereas the top joint of the wrist allows a degree of rotation and an up-and-down motion. The fingers can also curl up and straighten out. The leather upper arm piece is used to fix the prosthesis to the remaining upper arm. The rather sinister appearance of the hand suggests the wearer may have disguised it with a glove. Among the most common causes of amputation throughout the 1800s were injuries received as a result of warfare.

Self-Imposed Fear Rush


Crocosaurus Cove park — aptly located in Darwin, Australia — has begun offering adventurous visitors a chance to “swim” with saltwater crocodiles inside a five-inch thick, 10ft-tall perspex box which runs along a monorail track across four crocodile enclosures.


From the Daily Mail:
Sallie Gregory, spokeswoman for the park, said: ‘Many people find the opportunity of getting to within a few inches from the jaws of these crocodiles exhilarating.’
‘People often get activity ranging from an aggressive attack to a casual eye-balling and swim past where the crocs are so close that they rub against the cage.’
‘Most of the women who take part say they are happy just to watch the crocodiles while guys tend to want the action and attack.’ […]
‘The top of the cage has two grated doors to stop anything entering the cage and a back up motor and separate chain operates to ensure that in the event of a malfunction, the cage can continue to operate.’
And it just so happens that one of the Crocosaurus Cove crocs is somewhat of a celebrity: He nearly ate Linda Koslowski’s character in the first Crocodile Dundee movie.

[Cribbed from the Daily Wh.at.]

Full Metal Disney

I have nothing more to add. Seriously.

Pirates Have Periods Too

Infographic: 15 Things You Should Know About Breasts

5 Out of 6 Kids Like Sack Races

Seems Legit to Me

Stair Climbing Hand Truck

There was a time, long ago, when I would have killed to own one of these...

Radio 2010 vs. 1990


(Click on the image to open it up full-sized in a new window.)

Liars

If You're a Guy, Your Dog is a Dick Too

Perfect Timing

Sunday, August 29

Cool Shoes

Nike WIN


UPDATE: Gerda added this comment via email:

Very cool, but these are very hot too
 
 

True Love

Apparently They're Given by a Lady in a Pool

Where Was This Sign When I Worked the Help Desk?


I could have used it daily!

Prepare the Attack!

Send the dollies to flank them on the left! Prepare the stuffed animals for a direct charge! Let God sort out the losers!